I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
