There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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