He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
