so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
