im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
