your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
