Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
