What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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