i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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