Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
