one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
