You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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