My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
