So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
