I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
