i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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