and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
