Whatcha textin bout Willis?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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