is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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