she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
