I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
