The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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