i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
