My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize