Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Don't make out with my wife yet
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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