Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
