Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
