I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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