I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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