i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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