I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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