is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
