if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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