Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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