Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you will always have a special place in my vag
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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