You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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