Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
