Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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