well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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