For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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