I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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