i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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