yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
