Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
