So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
