There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize