yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
