Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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