She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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