So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
