My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
