If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
