I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
