i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
