omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
