He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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