Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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