i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
