i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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