it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
