Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
