Umm I'm too high to move.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We got so high we made milksteak
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
