Tell her she can't have a vagina
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
